Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
