i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize