I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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