so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
