Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry JnOaRdDrAoNj hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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(219): View more from Indiana

NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

(1-219): View more from Indiana

wow.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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(281): View more from Texas

i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.

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(214): View more from Texas

i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.

(1-214): View more from Texas

you are a true champion. bear my children.

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