I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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