I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
