I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
