I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
