I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
