We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
