need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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