He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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