Your dad touched me again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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