can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
