Do you still have your period?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
