How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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