Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
