Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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