it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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