so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
smell my finger.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
