Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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