hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
should my penis look like a turkey
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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