I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
not ubering you a puppy
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize