She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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