You're completely useless in the revolution.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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