We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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