She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
