Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need to stop coming to work sober
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Randomize
