the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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