yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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