Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
