So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
