Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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