he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
