sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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