So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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