he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
