I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
operation have a gay friend backfired
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't deserve a penis
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
