Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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