So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize