by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize