Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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