I'm going to jail i love you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
