I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
