I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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