Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
