It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
