Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
