does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
