you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
