there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
