tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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