There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
