doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize