sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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