if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
