And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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