you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
