Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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