I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
